April 27, 2009
So the joy of the Internet is that you get to discover things you normally wouldn’t. I’m not sure if it’s always a good thing though. My recent Internet find has me scratching my head wondering wtf.
How many people cook with cum? Apparently quite a few as there is a cookbook out there for those who need recipe inspiration. Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes
Despite my being confused by this book I have decided that when I can afford it I want it. Why? Two reasons really. First I am easily amused nothing would be more entertaining then having this cookbook on my cookbook shelf, have someone wander over to take a look and pull the cooking with cum book off the shelf. Second being that I have to see the recipes in this. What the hell could you cook that needs cum as an ingredient.
I like the Chef’s note on the Cooking properties that can be previewed : Heat up a lightly oiled frying pan/skillet. Remove from heat and ejaculate directly into pan, return to heat and fry the semen without stirring. This will create a mini-omelette, or in some cases, many small omelette-drops. Salt and pepper to taste. This is the perfect introductory recipe for newbie semen cookers. Right I’ll get right on that.
I also like the Chef’s note on the Storing Semen page you can preview. Keep a container in the freezer and simply add (ejaculate ) into the container every morning and then return it to the freezer. Good stuff just keep it next to the ice cream of course if grandma comes over lets hope she doesn’t pick the wrong container, eats all the cum and then what will you cook with?
As an alternative there’s always the cooking with testicles cookbook. See how it’s done. mmmmmmmm Good!
April 23, 2009
Holy shit this is funny. Anyone who could read it and not laugh is a machine.
Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
Pharmacy Texas, USA
(An elderly man calls up to the store.)
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”
Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”
Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”
Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”
Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”
Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”
Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”
Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”
Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”
April 21, 2009
I found these while going through some papers of my fathers. He had given these to my mother. While they had problems and the last few years were bad, had we been able to afford it they may well have divorced but they loved each other even then. My father unable to live without my mother and my mother caring for him through out his illness always with love and care.
When I read these I wonder if I will ever be loved like this.
Is it possible to love like this?
I wonder. I envy. I admire.
I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool in me and for laying firm hold of the possibilities of the good in me.
I love you for closing your eyes to the discords in me and for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening.
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern, but a temple and of the words of my everyday life, not a reproach, but a song.
I love you because you have done more than any creed to make me happy.You have done it without a word, without a touch, without a sign.You have done it by just being yourself.
Perhaps, after all, that is what love means.
The Art Of Marriage
A good marriage must be created. In marriage, the little things are the big things…
Never be too old to hold hands.
Remember to say “I love you” at least once a day.
Never going to sleep angry.
Having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
Standing together facing the world.
Forming a circle of love that gathers in whole family.
Speaking of words of appreciation and demonstration and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
Having the capacity to forgive and forget, and then forgetting what you forgave.
Giving each other an atmosphere in which to grow.
Not only MARRYING the right person, but BEING the right partner.
April 20, 2009
Ironically I was browsing some links I had saved and what should I find but the perfect follow up to my Ferengi Wisdom post DS9 Icons with an awesome Moogie one.
But this is great as well
and who couldn’t love
Star Trek how can you not love it?????????????
April 20, 2009
There are many places one can find good advice and about 100 times as many where you can find bad. Those who are close minded will not even consider some advice as it would be beneath them or from a source they deem beneath them. Well those ignorant’s would most likely loose all they own and then some to Ferengi’s should we live in the world of Star Trek.
The Ferengi may exploit to the end and make their mother wander around naked. An odd sort of thing to do but hey if Moogie doesn’t mind who am I to talk.
While not all rules of acquisition are what I would call good advice there are a few nuggets of truth.
3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. Indeed
7 Keep your ears open. Always, of course if your a Ferengi this not negotiable.
34 War is good for business Truth is truth and that one always will be.
35 Peace is good for business As above
59 Free advice is seldom cheap. The Ferengi know there stuff.
190 Hear all, trust nothing. Throw caution to the wind not a Ferengi.
194 It’s always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. A good business motto.
208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. 42, wait what was the question?
( If anyone reads that and doesn’t know what it means you really need to be afraid of Vogon poetry )
Good advice for the day. Now off to Quarks for some blood wine or maybe prune juice.