Michael asked me to review his book. I was not familiar with it so I hopped on amazon to check it out. This is the synopsis
Norman Spooter awakens one morning to find that his eyeballs have fallen in love with each other. They proceed to tear themselves out of his head, steal his car keys, and take off for parts unknown. So he does what any of us would probably do in that situation… he goes back to bed, hoping it’ll all resolve itself. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, a pack of WOLVES moves in. The worst thing is, they’re party wolves…
BUT they gave him a security deposit, so he decides he’s going out to get his eyeballs back.
He joins forces on his epic quest with a woman named Zoe, who has a mysterious secret almost as crazy as Norman’s Party Wolves. Besides, she needs him too. She’s on the run from her psychopathic ex-boyfriend, who happens to be a dangerous sociopath, a classic car enthusiast and, worst of all, a fully grown walrus.
The road trip/chase novel is flipped on its head with everyone chasing everyone… explosions, battles and madness are the drivers in this particular race, along with a few stops in such places as the Motel Sick and a cult town in North Dakota featuring some dangerous hooded guys who’ll pretty much marry anything to anything. With violence and insanity nipping at his heels and a race against the clock to get his body parts back, this could turn out very badly for Norman Spooter.
When I read what the book was about this is how I responded.
I just visited amazon and read the synopsis and I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything as I’d have shot my delicious beverage all over the monitor as is I almost pasted it with snot. That was a compliment in case I just sound odd. It sounds awesome so yes please send it.
This reaction is also how I felt reading the book. A guys eyeballs fall in love with each other and proceed to tear themselves out of their horrible prison aka Normans skull. Kind of like the dish running away with the spoon except way more bloody and dramatic. The new vacancy in Norman’s skull get’s an almost immediate new resident or residents as the party wolves move in. Who doesn’t want a pack of furry creatures living in an orifice? Well at least Michael didn’t write about testicles falling in love running off and then hamsters moving in *cough* yeah.
So on his journey to get his run away eyes back with wolves in tow he meets Zoe a woman with a secret and an ex-boyfriend who causes poor Zoe and Norman a lot of grief. Not to mention is quite repulsive and I now will never look at a walrus the same way. Forever they’ll be pictured with a q-tip which makes me want to gag.
Poor Norman will he find his eyes? Will the party wolves find a new home? Will he and Zoe have wild hot bizarro sex? One needs to read the book to find out. But one needs to read this book for sure as it’s the most unusual of all the bizarro books I’ve read to date.
Thank you Michael for my review copy and also for writing the most charming and eloquent review request email I have ever received from any author to date. You sir are quite the gentleman, I look forward to reading something written along those lines and minus any beastly tusks and whiskers.