Tag Archives: Bizarro

There’s No Happy Ending by Tiffany Scandal #review

There's No Happy Ending

The world is rotting away. Bodies are melting, buildings dissolving and it’s only a matter of time before the world completely disintegrates.

Despite the world rotting away, lovers Isobel and Dresden are fighting for the future, and their wedding day. Unfortunately, the rotting world isn’t their only challenge. Dresden’s mother is a wealthy woman with powerful secrets who wants only the best wife for Dresden, and Isobel isn’t it.

Dresden’s mother has him kidnapped and held hostage so he’ll not only miss his wedding, but alters him so he’ll survive the rotting world and live with her forever.

It’s up to Isobel to search the apocalyptic world for Dresden while he fights his mother’s mansion of horrors. If luck is on their side, Isobel and Dresden may be able to find one another before the world completely disappears.

 

I was quite excited when Suicide Girl and one of this years new bizarro author series peeps Tiffany Scandal emailed me wanting to know if I would review her book. Bizarro check, suicide girl check. She had me there but she buttered me up by saying I was bad ass and when a suicide girl calls you a bad ass you do whatever the hell she wants.

School has had me quite busy so it took me a while to get there but here I am review at the ready.

Bizarro is a genre where one can and should expect anything in fact its better not to expect anything in particular and just run with what the author throws at you. There’s No Happy Ending is like that and can I say not wrong on the title. Yikes!

This world that Tiffany has created is crumbling to nothing and with a pair of lovers who are so much in love getting to your wedding is quite the predicament. Throw in the most horrible mother/mother in law to be who will go so far as to kidnap her son to lets just say change him and keep him from the woman she doesn’t approve of. Though, I doubt any woman for her little boy would do.

A good read and one worth the sample for those who are new to bizarro and certainly one to check out for those who frequently partake.

Available in print or ebook from amazon There’s No Happy Ending is available now

Tiffany can be found online at her web site / twitter / instagram 

Vegan Vampire Vaginas by Wol-vriey #guestpost

I must be on an a talking vagina roll with my recent review of Close Call featuring Doris the sentient vagina. Today I have guest post from Wol-vriey discussing his new book Vegan Vampire Vaginas and reasons to give it a try, personally I think the title alone is reason enough.

Thank you to Wol-vriey for taking the time to share about his book.

Vegan Vampire Vagina

Fourteen Reasons Why You Should Read VEGAN VAMPIRE VAGINAS (and recommend it to everyone else you know):

 

Firstly, I must say major thanks to Jessica for having me do this guest post.

Now to the why of this title. After two weeks futilely spent trying to write something witty and entertaining/revealing/educative, I’ve finally given up and decided instead to just brazenly promote my book.

Please forgive me if I sound bigheaded. LOL! I honestly believe my own hype for this book. J!

The 14 reasons:

 

  1. Vegan Vampire Vaginas is the book your ma and pa . . . no, everyone you know really, warned you against reading. J. It’s chock-full of good/bad people doing unmentionable things on every page. And well, most people enjoy dipping into something that’s taboo . . . occasionally.

One Goodreads reviewer nicely pointed out that Vegan Vampire Vaginas likely wouldn’t pass the Miller Test:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_test

  1. It’s a long book. 130k words. 488 pages. Total value for money, if I say so myself. Even if you hate the story, you’ll be certain you’re getting your money’s worth of being pissed off, and that’s always a good thing.
  2. The print version is VERY BIG–will make a fantastic weapon for self-defense in times of danger. An added bonus? It’s thick enough to serve as a bulletproof shield!
  3. There’s a lot of graphic sex in it. In Vegan Vampire Vaginas, I attempt to be an all-persuasions erotic grocer. There’s straight sex, gay sex (both male and female), transsexual sex, and even lots of sex that you’ve never imagined possible, but I’ll not give too much away.
  4. Vegan Vampire Vaginas will look great on your coffee table, a surefire way to spark up that dull/dying conversation. Also, just imagine the cool answer you’ll be able to give anyone who asks what you’re currently reading.
  5. This novel doesn’t have Dracula or any of his relatives in it, nor their other undead cousins who tend to bay at the moon a lot, nor the other infected rotting ones who just want to eat your brains. That has to be a plus.
  6. There are a lot of love stories in this novel. Fans of m/f and f/f romance are certain to be delighted while being disgusted. Or disgusted while being delighted. Or delightfully disgusted . . .
  7. It has LOADS of strong female characters in it. More than the average ‘woman-friendly’ novel even. All the ladies kick butt. J!!!
  8. Okay, so it’s not YA (meaning do not let your teen brother or sister [or kid] anywhere near it!) but there’s MAGIC in it too.
  9. It has a literal vegan vagina in it. No, I’m not even going to try to explain.
  10. For fans of female sexual organs, there are likely more of them in this book than in the Vagina Monologues. LOL!
  11. Vegan Vampire Vaginas is FUN with a capital ‘F.’ It’s fast-paced, witty, entertaining, and also violent, bloody, unpredictable, and . . . I tried my best to cut out all the boring stuff no one likes. Hopefully I succeeded. JJJ
  12. 92% of Goodreads reviewers (so far) like it. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22388473-vegan-vampire-vaginas

(Even the one gentleman who didn’t, praised my writing ability. Ha ha!)

  1. And finally ladies and gentlemen, all I can say is, you’ve never read ANYTHING like Vegan Vampire Vaginas before. The plot, the settings, the characters . . . everything. That’s a stone cold promise. I’d make a money back guarantee on it, but my publishers would be VERY annoyed. J.

Peace!

Wol-vriey.


VEGAN VAMPIRE VAGINAS:

 

The biggest bank heist in US history. And Tom Palmer can’t remember pulling it off. And no, this isn’t your standard case of amnesia.

After a one-night-stand gone horribly wrong, Boston salesman Tom Palmer wakes up with a vagina implanted in his left hand.

Then his day gets worse:

Tom is transported across space-time to a nightmare version of Boston, one where the Bizarro virus has transformed half the population into cannibals.

Worst of all, Tom discovers that in this new Boston, he’s the infamous gangster Pussypalm, wanted for robbing the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston a year ago.

He also learns that the vagina in his hand is prophetic, i.e. it talks . . . after sex.

With 130 people left dead during his bank heist and six billion dollars missing, Tom knows he’s living on borrowed time. It is in his best interests not to remember anything. Because once he does . . .

But then everything gets so much odder. Tom begins remembering what has to be someone else’s life. Or is it?

Vegan Vampire Vaginas–a mind-bending trip through Bizarro America!

 

Wol-very

Wol-vriey is Nigerian and quite tall.

He writes surreal transgressive fiction.

He’s the author of Meat Suitcase, Chainsaw Cop Corpse, Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, and Boston Posh.

He blogs at: www.oddityfarm.wordpress.com

You can buy your Vegan Vampire Vagina here:

Amazon Kindle

Amazon Paperback

 

 

 

 

Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith #review

Andrew Smith

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Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

Sixteen-year-old Austin Szerba interweaves the story of his Polish legacy with the story of how he and his best friend , Robby, brought about the end of humanity and the rise of an army of unstoppable, six-foot tall praying mantises in small-town Iowa.

To make matters worse, Austin’s hormones are totally oblivious; they don’t care that the world is in utter chaos: Austin is in love with his girlfriend, Shann, but remains confused about his sexual orientation. He’s stewing in a self-professed constant state of maximum horniness, directed at both Robby and Shann. Ultimately, it’s up to Austin to save the world and propagate the species in this sci-fright journey of survival, sex, and the complex realities of the human condition.

 

I’ve always enjoyed unique stories. Bizarro is one of my favourite genre after all. This book reminds me of that genre combined with YA, sci fi and coming of age. Three bloggers who’s bookish opinion are always on my radar have read this book with glowing reviews. I thought it time to jump on the Andrew Smith fan girl band wagon and borrowed this one from my local library. It’s a delightfully freakish wtf kind of book that will make you ponder an authors sanity or applaud at their wild and vivid imagination. Grasshopper Jungle is like a kung fu ninja smack in the face of everything the imagination can think of and some I suspect only Andrew Smiths could come up with as well as the kitchen sink thrown in.

I’m not sure how I should describe the book other than the end of the wold with monster bugs, a confused kid who is quite the historian, his best friend, his girlfriend, lots of Polish people, tons of pizza, things preserved in jars that just are so wrong, more sperm than one should ever envision, bullies, sex and horny kids … but wait there’s more. Dissolved balls, balls blown off, underground silo’s, weird clothing that don’t hide erections ( must get that corrected ) fucking and eating and lots of dying. That’s not even the half of it. Really.

Its funny, insightful, wild and insane. A book that some sad sorry person will surely attempt to ban but one that instead should be handed to kids with a read this right now dose of encouragement. One to add to the reading pile for sure.

DangerRAMA by Danger Slater review

DangerRAMADangerRAMA by Danger Slater

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 

Ladies and gentleworms, gargoyles and girls – do you have the mettle to step up and peer into the mouth of mayhem, incongruity, shock and perversion? A trio of taint-tingling tales await you between these covers. Your taint will tingle. On your taint. The taint is that area between your balls and asshole, in case you didn’t know. Is it tingling yet? Good. Now let these three twisted novellas forever change your pathetic little life:

KNIGHTS OF THE WHITE CASTLE – An inter-dimensional tale of hamburgers, hubris and science gone mad!

SOMNAMBULANT – Terrorists, movie stars, and blue whales converge in this story about a dude who’s really just trying to get a good night’s sleep.

ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME – A computer malfunction sends a lone astronaut spiraling across the cosmos. Will he save mankind or just masturbate a lot?

 

I haven’t read any bizarro in a while so when Danger offered I wasn’t going to pass the offer up to review. What a nice sweet trio of freakish braingina juice smeared onto a page I’ve read in some time. I haven’t gone down bizarro road in about a year so when I started reading the first of three stories I just sat there shaking my head omg did he really write that, it’s so wrong I thought while giggling to myself in manic glee.

Book one about a high school teacher who’s invention goes um screwy and well white castle goes stone age or fantastically freaky or straight up crazy. Whatever your view it will make you scratch your head and chortle along to the freaky fun.

Book two about a guy who “sleepwalks” and doesn’t recall a thing he does while sleepwalking is just wow. In this awesome world he ends up worshipped, is Will Smiths love interest, steals world famous art works, becomes a terrorist and dismembers family.
Seriously entertaining but to not give more spoilers than I have well you’ve just gotta read it.

Last but not least is a book that just made me go omg you just had sex with your own finger dude yes you are alone in space and you reanimated it into a life size being of sorts but still wtf and then it became touching in a weird bizarro way. I suspect Danger is one of those mushy touchy feely guys. Plus he uses big words in it so yeah go Danger. It’s really quite well done with a world that is getting to the point of not being habitable so you test tube genius baby that we raised to go into space to save us all well good luck out there alone for ages till you find the promised land.

Great job done by Danger on these stories and sucking me in to his mad, mad world. I enjoyed myself immensly and look forward to more Danger by Danger.


Authors who deserve more recognition

Michael at Literary Exploration suggested this post after I took a peek at his top 10 author list. So here it is Michael my 10 authors who deserve more recognition.

 

1. Natasha Troop. Her talent blows me away and I’m dying to read her next book. I feel bad for those who haven’t had the pleasure of going omg I can’t believe that just happened. Literary horror that makes you desperate to and terrified of turning the page.

2. Jackie Gamber. Quality fantasy young adult. Coming of age and just plain smart. Jackie writes books that are different from many YA out there, her’s has substance.

3. Paul Cleave my fave New Zealand author. Paul is kind and sent me a signed copy of his book The Cleaner which is just brilliant. His books are a must read for me and should be for everyone.

4. Craig DiLouie I <3 you Craig. He was super kind and agreed to an interview when I heard about his book it sounded oh so good. Loved The Infection when I got to it, it’s a great zombie read and I look forward to more of his work.

5. Nicole Cushing. Damn just damn. I’ve read two of her stories and I am blown away by Nicoles imagination and originality.

6. Pavarti K Tyler I’ve read one book just one by Pav and a short story at that. It was all that I needed to say yes I will read your work because only Pav could make cannibalism sexy.

7. Spike Marlowe she got me to love a placenta love story. Beat that.

8. AJ Scudiere is my I admire the growth I’ve seen having read all but her new one. I appreciate that she has improved as an author and I always look forward to what I know will be an entertaining read.

9. Tony Bertauski writes good stories. I love his work and highly recommend his books. Indie that is done well Tony is an author I can point to and say he knows his stuff.

10. Steven Shrewsbury the man’s latest book is dedicated to me so yeah it should be checked out for that alone