There’s No Happy Ending by Tiffany Scandal #review

There's No Happy Ending

The world is rotting away. Bodies are melting, buildings dissolving and it’s only a matter of time before the world completely disintegrates.

Despite the world rotting away, lovers Isobel and Dresden are fighting for the future, and their wedding day. Unfortunately, the rotting world isn’t their only challenge. Dresden’s mother is a wealthy woman with powerful secrets who wants only the best wife for Dresden, and Isobel isn’t it.

Dresden’s mother has him kidnapped and held hostage so he’ll not only miss his wedding, but alters him so he’ll survive the rotting world and live with her forever.

It’s up to Isobel to search the apocalyptic world for Dresden while he fights his mother’s mansion of horrors. If luck is on their side, Isobel and Dresden may be able to find one another before the world completely disappears.

 

I was quite excited when Suicide Girl and one of this years new bizarro author series peeps Tiffany Scandal emailed me wanting to know if I would review her book. Bizarro check, suicide girl check. She had me there but she buttered me up by saying I was bad ass and when a suicide girl calls you a bad ass you do whatever the hell she wants.

School has had me quite busy so it took me a while to get there but here I am review at the ready.

Bizarro is a genre where one can and should expect anything in fact its better not to expect anything in particular and just run with what the author throws at you. There’s No Happy Ending is like that and can I say not wrong on the title. Yikes!

This world that Tiffany has created is crumbling to nothing and with a pair of lovers who are so much in love getting to your wedding is quite the predicament. Throw in the most horrible mother/mother in law to be who will go so far as to kidnap her son to lets just say change him and keep him from the woman she doesn’t approve of. Though, I doubt any woman for her little boy would do.

A good read and one worth the sample for those who are new to bizarro and certainly one to check out for those who frequently partake.

Available in print or ebook from amazon There’s No Happy Ending is available now

Tiffany can be found online at her web site / twitter / instagram 

The Fall by Stephen Cost #coverreveal with #giveaway

 

For thousands of years, Death walked behind the dark veil of the living, waiting to ferry the dead. That is, until the day that Death took a life for pleasure rather than duty. On that day, the first Reaper fell to Earth. Now, Reapers live among us, craving the taste of death, forcing them to kill to satisfy their immortal hunger.
Giles Reid fell more than 300 years ago starving for the taste of death, only to find himself drowning in a sea of the living and blinded by a hunger that forces him to kill. In the centuries since his fall he has tried to be more human, desperate to live a life that makes up for what he is and the wrong he has done. Driven by his guilt over killing, he has chosen to feed only on evil; humans that have never been a threat to him but who are always a danger to others. That is, until the day he tries to feed on a human as strong, fast and cunning as himself; a human who, it turns out, has been hunting him. Now he is being pursued by the very evil he has fed on for centuries, embroiled in a deadly cat-and-mouse game, where friends and other Reapers connected to him are simply pawns on a chessboard waiting to be sacrificed. Giles is left with a choice, save the life of the women he loves, the daughter of his mentor, or betrays her for his own survival.

To save the woman he loves, Giles will have to be the monster he is.

Stephen Cost was born in Wexford Ireland and raised in a small seaside town not far from Dublin.  From a young age he would spin dark tales and write them down for his own amusement.  At the age of 13 he moved from his home in Ireland to America and his love of dark American cinema took root.
He passes his free time, when not writing, by reading horror and fantasy genre novels in addition to watching science fiction and horror movies.
He graduated from University with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Sociology.  A computer engineer by trade, he specializes in integrated system services and uses the knowledge gained from his degree to write emotionally captivating urban fiction.

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Author Crymsyn Hart Death’s Dance #booktour

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Welcome to my stop on the Crymsyn Hart tour for her new book and first book with Seventh Star Press Death’s Dance. I’ve got an interview with the author to share.

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Being a psychic, you would think talking to the dead was a walk in the park. However, it’s not always that simple. The hooded specter haunting me is one I’ve been dreaming about since I was a kid. One day, he appeared in my bedroom mirror. Good. Evil. I don’t know what his true intentions are. Enter Jackson, ghost hunting show host extraordinaire, and my ex, to save me from the big bad ghost. From there…well…it’s been a world wind of complications. My house burnt down. I’m being stalked by an ancient evil and gotten myself back into the world of being a ghost hunting psychic. Jackson dragged me, along with a few other psychics, to a ghost town wiped off the map called Death’s Dance. From there things went from bad to worse. Death’s Dance is the first book in the Deathly Encounter Series

 

Please tell me about yourself

Hello Jess, thank you for having me. What is there to tell about me? LOL. Well I have been writing professionally for eight years now. I have published over eighty different works. I have been married for ten years, have three crazy dogs, and a day job in insurance that keeps me busy. I read tons of stuff, have a love for all things vampire and horror. And well… I love to write.

What is something about you that no one knows?

Wow you want the deep, dark, and deadly secrets. I’m not sure I can say anything unless you want to deal with my muses. Hmm…one thing that I can share that no one really knows is that I am closeted puzzler. I love doing puzzle.

What are you reading now?

Currently I am reading, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. Thankfully I finished The History of Embalming. Now that was a very dry read, interesting, but put me to sleep after a few pages.

Some favourite books and authors?

Some of my favourite books are The Making of Monster by Gail Petersen. The Vampire Huntress Series by L.A. Banks. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Favourite authors that I read no matter what, Christopher Moore Nancy Kilpatrick L.J. Smith Clive Barker

What is your workspace and writing routine like?

My writing workspace is usually sitting on my couch with the dogs piled on top of me. LOL I have an office where I do my day job work, but I like to keep the day job and my writing separate. I even have two separate computers for it too. Although once a week, I gather with my friends and fellow authors at the local Starbucks and we write or procrastinate. However, my house and my office is filled with pictures of ravens, fairies, dark gargoyles, all things that are conducive to my writing style. Good thing my husband and I have many of the same likes.

Is there a genre that you haven’t written but would like to try?

I thought about writing a mystery or a crime thriller. That would be something different and interesting that I might get into. All depends on if the mood strikes me.

You worked as a psychic for many years, could you share about some of the experiences you had doing that?

I worked as a psychic for four and a half years to get me through college and did a few other gigs for my boss at the time even after I moved on. We were still friends and I was local. Well I never met any celebrities, but I was featured in the Boston Globe for being the best local psychic at the time. That was pretty neat. At times I would open the store I worked at and would walk in to the place smelling of roses when there was nothing in the store or around that should make it smell that way. Candles would spontaneously ignite at times. Things would touch me in the shop when no one was there. I’ve seen a few apparitions in my time too.

Death’s Dance features a character that is a psychic as well, how much of your own experience did you use with Kerstin?

Yes, they say write what you know so it was easy for me to make Kerstin a psychic. Well I don’t see grim reapers, but I am a medium as she is and am empath. There are several scenes in the book like when she wakes up and there are spirits all around her waiting to be heard and to mess with her. I used to get that a lot, but not much these days. I’ve never been involved in a television show. So there are some connections, but not too many. It’s the first in the Deathly Encounters series, how many books are planned? So far I have four books in the Deathly Encounters series planned out. Three are written and the fourth one I just started. Although I can see another two down the line if things work out or just shorts to fill in gaps between the books.

I’ve not read your work before so for someone like myself, what do readers have to look forward to and which book would you recommend we start with?

Reading my work all depends on what you like. I write paranormal romance, horror, fantasy, and a mixture of everything in between. Death’s Dance is my first horror novel in a long time. If you like romance I have several books I did that are my favourites.

Dragonkin Hairy & Hung Awakening the Wolf Masquerade A Conspiracy of Ravens

I have a few things coming out in the future to look forward to. I have a book I just sent in called Come & Yeti, a romance between a space yeti, Bigfoot, and two shape shifting female aliens, with Purple Sword Publications. Mind you this is supposed to be a more comical take on sci-fi and shape shifters. Death’s Revival, Deathly Encounters Book 2 will be out soon with Seventh Star Press. I have another vampire romance called Turning Ash scheduled to come out with a new imprint with Seventh Star. The second book in my Gods Trilogy, Gods & Frogs, Oh My!, is coming out soon with Purple Sword. Besides that I am constantly working and editing when the day job allows it.

Thank you again for having me. It was nice chatting with you.

Tour Schedule and Activities
8/18 Jess Resides Here Interview
8/18 The Southern Belle from Hell Top Ten
8/18 Beauty in Ruins Guest Post
8/19 Darkling Delights Guest Post
8/19 Deal Sharing Aunt Top Ten
8/19 Shells interviews Guest Post
8/20 Stuart Conover’s Author Page Interview
8/20 SpecMusicMuse Interview
8/20 Azure Dwarf Post on Artwork
8/21 Come Selahway with Me Top Ten List
8/21 Armand Rosamilia, Horror Author Guest Post
8/21 SocialBookShelves.com Review
8/21 Blog of Sheila Deeth Character Post
8/21 A Haunted Head Guest Post
8/21 The Official Writing Blog of Deedee Davies Top Ten list
8/22 SBM Book Obsession Review
8/22 Bee’s Knees Reviews Guest Post
8/22 Seers, Seraphs, Immortals & More Interview
8/23 Reading Away The Days Review
8/23 Sapphyria’s Book Reviews Excerpt
8/23 Horror Tree Guest Post
8/24 Willow’s Author Love Review
8/24 The Rage Circus Vs. The Soulless Void Review
8/24 Bookishly Me Review
8/24 LucyBlueCastle Guest Post

About Crymsyn Hart: Crymsyn Hart is a national bestselling author of over seventy paranormal romance and horror novels. Her experiences as a psychic have given her a lot of material to use in her books. She currently resides in Charlotte, NC with her hubby and her three dogs. If she’s not writing, she’s curled up with the dogs watching a good horror movie or off with friends.

To find out more about Crymsyn Hart, please visit her website at www.ravynhart.com

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Alex by L.A. Casey book blitz #giveaway

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Welcome to the Alec book blitz, a new book from author L.A. Casey. There is a blitz wide giveaway as well as the chance to win an ebook copy of Alec in the format of choice just by leaving a comment on this blog. Just let me know what format you’d like by the September 1st and you’re in for a chance, the blitz wide giveaway has a rafflecopter entry option below.

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ALEC
(Slater Brothers, #2)
L.A. Casey

Chapter One

“Miss Daley? Open up! I know you’re in there, your car is outside in the tenant car park!”
I groaned at the sound of the loud voice, and flicked my eyes open then quickly re-closed them. It took a few moments for me to be able to keep them open, and when I could, I couldn’t see very well. I squinted through the darkness waiting for my eyes to adjust to the minimal lighting. When I could see a little, I quickly narrowed my eyes at the fat snoring male beside me. I shoved him hoping to knock him off the bed, but instead of falling off like I’d hoped he only farted and rolled over in my direction then placed a big sloppy kiss on my mouth.
“Storm!” I shouted and wiped at my mouth and tried not to heave, but the smell of Storm’s breath made that very hard.
Storm lazily got to his feet, stretched and made some weird noises then proceeded to belly flop on top of me until I gasped for air. Storm, my two year old German Shepherd, needed to be put on a diet or one of these days the fat baby was going to smother me in my sleep.
“Off!” I gasped and shoved at his large body with both of my hands.
Storm did as ordered and got off me. But he didn’t get off the bed, instead he just rolled back over to his side – yes, my dog had a side of the bed – which was just typical. The only time he willingly moved was if it was breakfast time, lunch time, dinner time or pretty much any time he knew there would be food in it for him.
“You pathetic excuse for a guard dog,” I muttered as the banging on my apartment door started up again.
Storm replied with another fart that had me opening the windows before I left my bedroom to proceed down the hallway to open my door. I stubbed my toe on one of Storm’s doggy toys as I walked and cursed the person on the other side of the door for making me get out of bed; it was the middle of the night for God’s sake!
“I’m comin’, keep your knickers on!” I shouted when I reached my door and began unlocking all the locks. There was five of them in total because, in the area where I lived, one lock was not enough. I switched on my hall light and jumped when the bulb blew, coating the hall in darkness once again. I sighed as I turned to my front door, even though I knew who was on the other side, I still looked through the peep hole just to be safe.
When I confirmed the noisy menace at my door was in fact my neighbour, I unlocked the final lock and pulled it open then harshly glared at the man who was stood before me. Mr. Pervert – his real name was Mr. Doyle – was a middle-aged man who was the CEO at Perverts ‘R Us. The man was a major creep, and I hated that I answered the door to him dressed in nothing but my nightdress because it gave him free rein to ogle me with his ever roaming eyes.
“Can I help you, Mr. Per-Doyle?” I asked, biting my tongue, so I didn’t laugh at almost calling him Mr. Pervert out loud.
He snapped his eyes up from my legs to my face and cleared his throat as he lifted his hand – a hand that contained one single envelope. I simply stared at the envelope for a moment then flicked my eyes up to Mr. Pervert and found his eyes weren’t on my face anymore. I knocked on the outside of my door with my free hand which made him jump with fright and me inwardly snort. When his eyes were once again on mine, I nodded to the envelope in his hand and then raised my brows in a silent question.
He cleared his throat again before saying, “I’ve been away the last few weeks and found this on my floor when I got home a few moments ago. It is addressed to you, but has my apartment number on it instead of yours.”
I wanted to punch him. I used the light from the hallway outside of my apartment to look back inside my apartment and lock my eyes on the clock hanging on the wall behind me; it read 3:20 am.
Couldn’t he have just waited till morning before he delivered it to me?
The bloody eejit!
I sighed as I turned back to Mr. Pervert, who was back to looking at my body. I reached out and gripped the envelope and gave it a little tug until Mr. Pervert released it.
“Thanks, I appreciate you goin’ out of your way to make sure I get me post.” I faked a smile and then pulled the hand that now held the envelope away until it was tucked safely behind my door – along with the rest of my body – so Mr. Pervert couldn’t see me anymore.
He blinked a few times and looked at my face, because it was now all that he could see.
“It was no problem at all, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart?
Bleh!
I smiled and nodded my head as I inched my door closed. “Good night.”
“Good-” I closed the door before he could finish his sentence.
I shook off my shivers then I relocked all of the locks on my door and closed the bolt at the top of the door. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard Mr. Pervert’s footsteps trot back across the hall and into his own apartment where he closed the door behind him. I looked at the envelope in my hand and decided to open it because I was curious as to what was inside it. I couldn’t see very well because the hallway was still dark but I knew it wasn’t a bill, it didn’t feel like the envelope bills came in, it was thicker. From what I had seen it looked nicer than a bill envelope. Fancier.
I headed into my sitting room which was also doubled as my kitchen and flicked on the light. I tossed the envelope on the kitchen table and went to the counter drawers to look for my envelope cutter. I found it after only a second of looking, but had to put it down when I heard my phone ring from my bedroom. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
Who the hell would be calling me at half three in the morning on a Friday night?
“Aideen,” I said out loud and headed in the direction of my bedroom.
Aideen Collins was my best friend. She was the closest thing I had to a sister and I loved her dearly, but she had her moments when she royally pissed me off. Ringing me at half three in the morning was one of those moments.
When I got to the phone in my bedroom and pressed answer, I said, “You’d better have a good reason for ringin’ me at this hour Aideen Collins or I am goin’ kick seven shades of shite outta you!”
I heard a deep, rumbling chuckle.
“She does have a good reason, so you don’t need to kick any shade of shit out of her,” a male voice replied, it made me jump with fright because I wasn’t expecting it.
“Who are you? Where is Aideen? Why do you have her phone?” I asked then gasped and shouted, “If you have hurt me friend in any way I’m goin’ to fuck you up!”
The stranger laughed this time and said, “Is that a promise, kitten?”
Ex-fucking-cuse me?
“Where is Aideen? You better tell me right now or I’m gonna-”
“Fuck me up? Yeah, I got that part,” he chuckled again then before he could say anything else I heard a different male voice speak. I asked you to ring the girl’s friend, Alec. What the hell is taking so long?”
I mentally made a note of the name Alec incase I had to call the Guards.
“I’m talking to her friend, but I haven’t been able to tell her the point of my call. She is too busy threatening to ‘fuck me up’ if I have hurt the girl,” the lad who called me laughed.
I was mad and also scared as to where Aideen was and who these foreign guys were. I knew they weren’t Irish or even English – their accents sounded too different – but I couldn’t pinpoint where they were from because there was a lot of background [J9] noise. It sounded like music.
“Just tell her what I told you to say so she can get here already,” the second lad said to the one who called me.
The lad who called me sighed and said, “Keela, I’m calling to let you know your friend Aiden was in a fight and we need you to come pick her up. She told me to call you.”
“Her name is Aideen not Aiden, it’s pronounced Ay-deen,” I said then widened my eyes when I comprehended the rest of what he just told me. I screamed, “Is she okay? What happened? Who hurt her?”
“Calm down, hellcat. She is fine, we just need you to come and collect her. I’ll explain everything once you get here.”
“Where is ‘here’?” I snapped as I moved around my room pulling on my vans. I grabbed my car keys from my bedside table as I held my phone to my ear with my shoulder.
“Playhouse Nightclub, it’s right beside the Tallaght bypass-”
“I know where it is, I’ll be there in five minutes,” I said and hung up on him.
I gripped onto my phone and car keys as I closed my bedroom window. I told Storm to stay put, but it feel on deaf ears because he didn’t move an inch or even wake up. I ran down my hallway and unlocked the locks and the bolt on my door then flung it open and sprung into the corridor. I closed my front door, locked it, then ran like a bat out of Hell down the hallway, down four flights of stairs and out into my apartment complex’s car park. I sprinted towards my car and only realised I was in my nightdress when the cool breeze hit me and made me shiver.
“Fuck!” I snapped as I unlocked my car, got into it and started the engine.
I didn’t think of changing clothes, just about getting my shoes on and then getting out to my car. I wasn’t going back inside to change; I had to get to Aideen and make sure she was okay before changing clothes even became an option. It was okay though; I didn’t show off any valuables. The nightdress was just a little short, it was black so I didn’t have to worry that it was see through, at least I got lucky with that. The weather was good tonight as well, it was cool but not windy or raining. I would just have to hold the hem of my nightdress down when I got out of my car to keep it from rising up incase I had to run anywhere.
I pulled out of the car park and straight onto the main road and headed towards the nightclub[J11] . I was wide awake now, but the stinging in my eyes didn’t go amiss. I had only been asleep for four hours before Mr. Pervert woke me up, but before that I hadn’t slept in twenty-seven hours. I worked in my local supermarket, Super Value. I was broke, and I needed all the hours I could get, so yesterday I worked an eleven hour shift and instead of going straight to bed when I got home, I dove straight into writing and pulled an all-nighter.
I always had a passion for bringing the stories in my head to life on paper or on a laptop screen. I only ever dabbled in silly little things here and there, never a full length novel. Luckily Aideen – literally – gave me the kick up the arse I needed and said I should just ‘go for it’ because I wouldn’t know if my writing would be a success if I never put it out there. After that wake up call, which was three weeks ago, I knuckled down and started writing my very first book. Yesterday, even though I was shattered, I was completely in the zone and just had to write. I had so much inside me for my story that if I didn’t get it out of my head soon I was going to explode. So I wrote, wrote, and wrote some more. The lack of sleep and the stinging in my eyes from staring at my laptop was kicking my arse now though because I felt like death, and I was pretty sure I looked the part too.
When I came to a red traffic light I pulled down my visor and looked in the little mirror and winced. Scratch that, saying I looked like death would have been kind. The sclera around my green eyes looked like a road map to Hell, that’s how bloodshot they were. My fiery red hair was slightly greasy, and pulled up into a disastrous looking bun. I glanced down at my long bare white legs and shook my head.
Why did I have to be so tall?
If I were shorter, this nightdress would be longer and less exposing!
I was a bloody mess!
I angrily pushed my visor up when the traffic light changed to green and sped to the location of the nightclub Aideen was at with these men. I got there in less than five minutes because the green lights were with me, and there was little to no traffic on the roads thanks to the early hour. I turned into the nightclub car park entrance and looped around until I saw two huge males looking down at a small woman sitting down on the path a few meters away from the nightclub’s entrance. It was Aideen, I just knew it. I parked my car across from them, jumped out, and slammed my door before I took off running towards Aideen.
When the noise of my feet hitting the pavement could be heard both men looked up at me, but didn’t say anything as I reached them. When I was next to them, I dropped down to my knees and pulled Aideen into a hug. I ignored the slight stinging in my knees from the concrete ground digging into my skin and held Aideen tightly.
“Are you okay? What happened?” I asked then pulled back from the hug so I could look at her.
Aideen looked back at me and I gasped at the sight that greeted me. She had a small cut over her eyebrow and her right jaw was swollen.
“Some bitch jumped on me,” she grumbled.
“Who?” I snapped. “I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘er!”
I was surprised that I sounded like I could actually follow through with my threat.
I was not a fighter.
Not. At. All.
I have been in one fight in my entire life, and that was only because my younger cousin Micah punched me in the face when we were kids to see if my blood was blue. She told everyone I was an alien from outer space with blue blood and the only way to prove I was a human was to punch me and make my nose bleed. I agreed because I didn’t think it would hurt that much – I was wrong, very wrong, because it hurt like hell.
After Micah punched me and red blood streamed from my nose and we confirmed I was in fact human, I jumped on her because I was in so much pain and decided that she needed to be punished for hurting me. Instead of dishing out a hiding, I received a black eye and a chipped tooth. Micah kicked my arse, and it was the first and only fight I have ever been in. Regardless of my inability to bring the pain, if anyone hurt Aideen or Storm, I would go Bruce Lee on those fuckers.
That was a cold hard fact.
Aideen smiled at me and pulled me in for another tight hug. “I know you would, but I just want to go home now. Can I stay with you?”
Was that a serious question?
I shook her. “Of course, you bloody eejit.”
Aideen laughed and so did the males who stood over us. I don’t know how, but I forgot they were next to us. I quickly stood up and pulled Aideen with me. She wasn’t exactly drunk, just a little tipsy, so I didn’t have to balance her or anything, but I still kept a tight hold on her just in case.
“This is Alec,” Aideen said and lazily pointed to the man on the right who was openly looking me up and down, “and Kane.” I tightened my hold on Aideen when I looked to Kane, the man on the left. He was just as tall and as muscular as the arsehole who was looking at my body, but he was scary looking. He had a large scar that curved around the left side of his mouth and some claw like scars going from his right temple and down through his eyebrow leaving gaps in the hairs like they were styled that way.
“Hi,” I said lowly and avoided direct eye contact.
“Kane came to my rescue when Alec’s girlfriend hit me,” Aideen said and smiled at Kane, who smiled right back at her.
“She was my lay for the night, not my girlfriend… and I apologised for her actions,” Alec said with a sigh.
I ignored Alec, the eejit who just spoke, and looked at Kane when he smiled and felt myself instantly become relaxed. He didn’t look scary when he smiled like that. I frowned though when the rest of what Aideen said settled in my brain and before I knew it I let go of Aideen and shoved Alec in the chest as hard as I could. He wasn’t expecting it so when I shoved him he lost his balance and fell back onto his arse with a grunt.
“That is for your bird hurtin’ me friend and if I find out who the slut is I’m goin’ fuckin’ kill ‘er!” I bellowed.
Aideen pulled me back by the arm and begged me to stop while Alec looked up at me with wide eyes before he looked to Kane, who stared down at him also with wide eyes and his mouth agape. A few seconds passed until they both burst out laughing like what just happened was the funniest thing ever. I saw red and tried to go for Alec again, but Aideen moved herself in front of me and pushed me back by the shoulders.
“I told you bro, she is a fucking hellcat!” Alec cackled as he gripped onto Kane’s outstretched hand and was helped to his feet.
Kane continued to laugh as he shook his head. “I wish the twins saw that, Dominic would have helped her hit you while Damien recorded it.”
I had no idea what or whom they were talking about, but I pointed my finger dangerously over Aideen’s shoulder at Alec and snarled at him.
“Keep laughin’ pretty boy, and I’ll scratch up that face of yours!” I warned.
Alec stepped forward, a grin tugged at his mouth. “I’m finding myself highly attracted to you right now. Would you like to come home with me since you’re already dressed for bed?”
I dropped my jaw in shock, and so did Aideen, who spun around and shoved him in the chest, but didn’t manage to knock him to the ground. “Knock it off! I appreciate you both helpin’ me, but I won’t have you treatin’ me friend like she is one of your clients, Alec. She is a good girl!”
Clients?
What the hell did that mean?
Alec grinned at Aideen before he flicked his eyes to me. “Oh, I’m bettin’ there is a bad girl deep inside her somewhere. I’ll just have to use my fingers, mouth, and cock to bring her out to play.”
What. The. Fuck?
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I snapped.
He grinned and gave me a wink as he said, “Alec Slater, your next – or only – great fuck.”
Was he for real?
“You’re about to be Alec Slater – murder victim – if you don’t shut that hole in your face!”
Kane cracked up with laughter as he reached for Aideen’s arm and pulled her into him and away from me. “Please, don’t interfere. I’ve never seen a female, besides Bronagh, backtalk him like this before,” he said to Aideen then brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes; the action caused her to melt into a puddle by the way she sagged into him.
I rolled my eyes at her then looked to Alec, who had inched closer to me, before I growled, “Try touchin’ me, and you won’t ever be able to have kids. I’m warnin’ you.”
Alec grinned and folded his arms across his board chest; it caused all his muscles that I could see to contract and tense. He settled on staying put, but openly raked his eyes over my body, mainly my legs, and it made me feel very uncomfortable.
“Stop lookin’ at me you dirty bastard!” I growled.
Alec flicked his eyes up to me. “Why would you come outside dressed like that if you didn’t want people to look at you?” he asked.
I clenched my hands into fists and took a step towards him. I had to tilt my head back a little bit because he was a lot taller than my five foot ten inches and when I realised that I felt intimidated, but I was not ready to back down.
“I came outside dressed in me nightdress because me friend needed me and gettin’ dressed didn’t cross me mind when you rang me, you eejit.”
He flashed his teeth at me when he smiled. “You sound like my bro’s girl, she calls me an eejit a lot.”
I looked him up and down; my lip curled in disgust. “She must be kind ’cause there are a lot of words that would suit you much better. Batty boy would be two of them,” I snarled then turned in Aideen’s direction and found her kissing Kane. Not just smooching, she was completely necking on with him. I walked forward, grabbed her arm and tugged her, not so gently, next to me.
When she was next to me I squeezed her arm and snarled, “Do you not remember the stranger danger film we watched when we were in school?”
Aideen gave me an are-you-serious look before she snickered and shook her head. “They aren’t dangerous. Kane saved me from danger.”
I pointed over my shoulder. “Yeah, and batty boy’s bird put you in danger so let’s go.”
“I get the feeling that you’re calling me gay,” Alec said from behind me.
I set my jaw and continued to tug on Aideen as she frowned over my shoulder and said, “She is callin’ you gay, but she doesn’t mean it as an insult or anythin’. She’s not homophobic, she just said it because she hoped it would piss you off.”
Seriously?!
“You aren’t supposed to tell him that, Ado!” I snapped.
“Ado? I like that nickname,” Kane’s voice purred from my right.
He pronounced Ado so proper.
Ay-doh.
I pushed Aideen behind me, ignoring her complaints as I fixed Kane with a glare that wavered the longer I looked at him. “Listen, thanks for helpin’ me friend after she got hurt, but she isn’t goin’ to thank you with some personal pole dancin’ so give the flirtin’ a rest.”
Kane raised his eyebrows as he looked over my shoulder and asked Aideen, “You’re a stripper?”
“No, I am a teacher,” Aideen scoffed. “‘No pole dancin’ means no shaggin’.”
Kane laughed then. “Your friend is banning you from having sex with me?”
“Yes,” Aideen and I said in unison.
“And you’re going along with it?” Alec asked Aideen as he rounded on us and leaned back against the same car Kane was leaning on.
They looked like a pair of fitness models and noticing that pissed me off.
“Yeah,” Aideen sighed. “She is pretty big on no sex with strangers and… so am I.”
Kane’s eyes bore into Aideen and then he smiled as he said, “Pity.”
“Uh huh,” Aideen agreed with a sad sigh.
I rolled my eyes and said, “I’ll stop off at the shop on the way home and buy you some batteries for your vibrator to get you through the night. You will be grand.”
“Keela!” Aideen gasped and smacked my arse, it made me yelp and jump.
Both of the lads laughed at what I said and shook their heads as they continued to look at us. I got annoyed and said to Aideen, “Maybe they could apply to Pervert ‘R Us, they fit the bill with those stares.”
Aideen laughed and smacked my arse again.
“Excuse me?” Alec said.
Aideen was snickering as she said, “Keela’s neighbour, Mr. Doyle, is a man who stares a lot so she named him Mr. Pervert and imagined him bein’ the CEO of a company called Pervert ‘R Us.”
I narrowed my eyes when the two hyenas started laughing again – they seemed to do that a lot.
I angrily reached behind me and grabbed Aideen. “We’re leavin’. I have to go home to Storm.”
“Storm?” Alec questioned.
“Storm is her-”
“Boyfriend,” I smiled as I cut Aideen off and gave her a go-along-with-me look. She looked back to me and I could see the amusement in her eyes as she nodded her head and looked to Alec.
“Storm is pretty protective of her,” she said.
Alex cocked an eyebrow. “If he is so protective then how come he let you come out here alone while dressed like that?”
He made it sound like my nightdress was skimpy!
I snarled and made a move forward to set him straight but Aideen put herself between Alec and I before saying, “Storm is very hard to rouse durin’ the night. He probably didn’t even hear her leave, but he is still a great… lad.”
I inwardly snorted.
“Yeah, and he will kick your arse for even suggestin’ we have sex!” I stated.
Alec popped his head around Aideen and grinned at me. “I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
Good news!
“You better back off then because one more crude comment and I will fuck you up, never mind Storm!” I snarled.
Alec bit down on his bottom lip and grinned at me, I knew he was thinking crude things, so I glared at him which made Kane snort.
“Can we keep her? I like hearing someone put you in your place, the fact that she is a female is even better. You don’t affect her bro; you’re losing your touch.” Kane chuckled and playfully shoved Alec when he settled back beside him on the car they were leaning on.
Alex continued to grin at me as he spoke to Kane, “It’s still early, don’t shoot me down so quickly, bro.”
“I’ll fuckin’ shoot you,” I murmured making Aideen snort as she reached for my hand.
“This has been… interestin’. However, Keela is right, we better get goin’.”
“Thank you, Jesus,” I cheered making Kane snicker before looking to Aideen.
He grinned at her and said, “I guess I’ll see you around, Ado.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m the only one allowed to call her Ado.”
Kane flicked his eyes to me and smiled. “I like you.”
I flushed but forced myself to stand up straight as I said, “Well, I don’t like you or your pervey friend-”
“Brother. I’m his pervy brother,” Alec cut me off making Aideen snicker.
I shoved her and glared at Alec before I looked back to Kane, who still looked at me with an amused expression. I cleared my throat and said, “I don’t like you or your pervy brother. You’re both clearly nothin’ but trouble if the people you pal around with attack girls for no reason. You’re both very fuckin’ rude as well!”
I turned and grabbed Aideen’s hand and took off walking away from the brothers and in the direction of my car.
“What? No goodbye kiss? Now who is being rude!” Alec’s voice called out after us making Aideen cackle.
I grunted. “Fuck you,” I shouted without turning around.
“Name the time and place, kitten,” Alec called back which caused Aideen to break out in a full on laugh.
Kitten?
I fumed in silence as I all but hauled Aideen across the dark car park and into my car. “Name the time and place, kitten,” I mimicked Alec’s voice which caused Aideen to laugh harder as she buckled her seat belt.
I buckled my own seat belt then started up my car. I pulled out of the space I was in and quickly drove out of the car park. I don’t think I calmed down enough to breathe normally until we were on the Tallaght Bypass.
“Can you believe him? What a fuckin’ dick!” I spat.
Aideen snorted. “I found that entire conversation hilarious.”
I shook my head. “Well you shouldn’t have. Look at your face, Aideen!”
Aideen sighed. “I know, but it honestly wasn’t their fault. We were just havin’ a good time when out of no where this girl jumped on me.”
I gripped my steering wheel so tight that my knuckles turned white.
“Why were you even with them?” I spat.
I wasn’t angry with her, I was just angry that she got hurt by some bitch.
“I wasn’t even with them. Tonight was the first time I met them. I was out with Branna. Tonight was a small twenty-first birthday party for Bronagh. Branna left early with Ryder because he wasn’t feelin’ very well. Bronagh is still inside the club with her lad, Nico, and her friend, Alannah. I was sat with Kane and Alec when a drunk girl came over and accused me of bein’ Alec’s latest shag. Alec laughed at the girl, but didn’t deny it, so she jumped on me.”
I grunted.
Branna Murphy was Aideen’s friend and has been her friend since they were in preschool. Aideen is a few years older than me so she has known Branna longer than she has known me. I’m a grown woman, I’m not at all jealous of their friendship. Branna was cool after all. Her sister Bronagh was great as well, I was two years older than Bronagh, who turned twenty-one today. I had been invited to go out with everyone tonight but my body was beat, so I declined the invitation.
My thoughts calmed me down enough for me to loosen my grip on the steering wheel but I still shook with anger. “You should have let me punch ‘em.”
Aideen chuckled then lifted her hand to cradle her face. “You would have broken your hand! Did you see how big he was?”
I grunted and nodded my head. “His brother was even more muscular. Do they live at the gym or somethin’?”
Aideen snickered. “Branna said they have a gym in her house. ‘Member I told you she moved in with Ryder and the oldest twin, Nico, moved in with her sister?”
I nodded my head.
“Branna didn’t just move in with Ryder, she moved in with Alec and Kane as well. She said there is a gym room where the sittin’ room should be and that they all work out a lot. You should see Nico; he’s twenty-one and the lad is ripped. He is a fighter or somethin’.”
I glanced at her wide eyed. “Why the hell are you hangin’ around walkin’ tanks, Aideen?”
Aideen burst into a fit of giggles which made me grin even though I was mad.
“They are lovely – big and scary – but lovely.”
I shivered when I pictured Kane’s face, calling him lovely was not a word that I would use to describe him.
“How do you think Kane got those scars on his face? They are kind of severe.”
Aideen sighed. “I’ve no idea what happened to him but he is still gorgeous!”
“You like his accent as well, right?” I questioned.
Aideen purred, “Oh, my God. I could listen to him talk all day! He could make wet by just sayin’ ‘Hello’!”
I rolled my eyes. “I swear you think with your dick.”
Aideen cackled. “You mean vagina?”
“Yeah, I mean vagina, but sayin’ dick sounds better.”
Aideen continued to laugh then hissed a little and covered her face with her hands. I glanced at her every so often during the five minute drive back to my apartment complex. I parked in my usual spot, then myself and Aideen got out of the car, and after I locked it, quickly scurried across the car park and into my apartment building. We took the stairs two at a time until we got to the fifth floor where my apartment was located. I opened my hall door with lightening like speed because I didn’t want to be caught by Mr. Pervert again dressed in just my nightdress.
Luckily, we got inside with no one seeing us. Aideen and I then went into the bathroom where I got out my first aid kit while she pulled her dress off then pulled down her underwear and sat on the toilet.
I was opening an antiseptic packet when I glanced up at her through the mirror and snorted, “Do you reckon lads do this?”
Aideen opened her eyes and lazily smiled at me as she said, “Willingly go to the toilet with another lad in the room? Nah, they would call each other gay.”
I chuckled and looked back down to the first aid kit while Aideen finished up on the toilet. I turned when the toilet flushed and waited for her to wash her hands before I began cleaning her face up. She was four inches shorter than me now that her heels were off, so it made holding her head still a lot easier.
“OW!” Aideen suddenly hollered which earned a bark from my bedroom.
“Go back asleep you fat shite!” Aideen shouted when I swiped the antiseptic wipe over a small cut above her eye.
I hissed at her, “Leave him alone, he isn’t fat. He just has a thick coat!”
Aideen laughed through her hissing. “Yeah, a thick coat of blubber.”
I gave her a firm look. “Don’t slag me baby when I’m cleanin’ you up. Me finger might slip and jam into your eye.”
Aideen gave me a wary look and closed her mouth which made me inwardly grin as I finished cleaning up her face. When I was finished, she went into my bedroom to get some of my pyjamas [J16] to wear while I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I turned on the kitchen light then moved to the sink and filled up a glass and quickly gulped down the water. I looked to my left and noticed the envelope Mr. Pervert gave to me earlier, still unopened on my kitchen table.
“Storm, get off the bed… or at least move over!” Aideen’s voice shouted from my bedroom.
I roughly rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. I glanced at the envelope once more before I shook my head and walked over to the kitchen light switch and flipped it off. I turned and walked towards the sounds of growling and shouting coming from my bedroom and decided that dealing with Storm and Aideen was enough for one night.
Whatever was in that envelope could wait until morning.

LAAUthorAUTHOR BIO
L.A. Casey was born, raised and currently resides in Dublin, Ireland. She is a twenty two year old stay at home mother to an almost two year old German Shepherd named Storm and of course, her four and half year old (the half is apparently vital) beautiful little hellion/angel depending on the hour of the day.

Her first novel, Dominic, was released on March 17th, 2014, and on March 21st, 2014, it became an international Amazon bestseller.

Author links:
Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads / Web Site

Available from Amazon

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Vegan Vampire Vaginas by Wol-vriey #guestpost

I must be on an a talking vagina roll with my recent review of Close Call featuring Doris the sentient vagina. Today I have guest post from Wol-vriey discussing his new book Vegan Vampire Vaginas and reasons to give it a try, personally I think the title alone is reason enough.

Thank you to Wol-vriey for taking the time to share about his book.

Vegan Vampire Vagina

Fourteen Reasons Why You Should Read VEGAN VAMPIRE VAGINAS (and recommend it to everyone else you know):

 

Firstly, I must say major thanks to Jessica for having me do this guest post.

Now to the why of this title. After two weeks futilely spent trying to write something witty and entertaining/revealing/educative, I’ve finally given up and decided instead to just brazenly promote my book.

Please forgive me if I sound bigheaded. LOL! I honestly believe my own hype for this book. J!

The 14 reasons:

 

  1. Vegan Vampire Vaginas is the book your ma and pa . . . no, everyone you know really, warned you against reading. J. It’s chock-full of good/bad people doing unmentionable things on every page. And well, most people enjoy dipping into something that’s taboo . . . occasionally.

One Goodreads reviewer nicely pointed out that Vegan Vampire Vaginas likely wouldn’t pass the Miller Test:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_test

  1. It’s a long book. 130k words. 488 pages. Total value for money, if I say so myself. Even if you hate the story, you’ll be certain you’re getting your money’s worth of being pissed off, and that’s always a good thing.
  2. The print version is VERY BIG–will make a fantastic weapon for self-defense in times of danger. An added bonus? It’s thick enough to serve as a bulletproof shield!
  3. There’s a lot of graphic sex in it. In Vegan Vampire Vaginas, I attempt to be an all-persuasions erotic grocer. There’s straight sex, gay sex (both male and female), transsexual sex, and even lots of sex that you’ve never imagined possible, but I’ll not give too much away.
  4. Vegan Vampire Vaginas will look great on your coffee table, a surefire way to spark up that dull/dying conversation. Also, just imagine the cool answer you’ll be able to give anyone who asks what you’re currently reading.
  5. This novel doesn’t have Dracula or any of his relatives in it, nor their other undead cousins who tend to bay at the moon a lot, nor the other infected rotting ones who just want to eat your brains. That has to be a plus.
  6. There are a lot of love stories in this novel. Fans of m/f and f/f romance are certain to be delighted while being disgusted. Or disgusted while being delighted. Or delightfully disgusted . . .
  7. It has LOADS of strong female characters in it. More than the average ‘woman-friendly’ novel even. All the ladies kick butt. J!!!
  8. Okay, so it’s not YA (meaning do not let your teen brother or sister [or kid] anywhere near it!) but there’s MAGIC in it too.
  9. It has a literal vegan vagina in it. No, I’m not even going to try to explain.
  10. For fans of female sexual organs, there are likely more of them in this book than in the Vagina Monologues. LOL!
  11. Vegan Vampire Vaginas is FUN with a capital ‘F.’ It’s fast-paced, witty, entertaining, and also violent, bloody, unpredictable, and . . . I tried my best to cut out all the boring stuff no one likes. Hopefully I succeeded. JJJ
  12. 92% of Goodreads reviewers (so far) like it. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22388473-vegan-vampire-vaginas

(Even the one gentleman who didn’t, praised my writing ability. Ha ha!)

  1. And finally ladies and gentlemen, all I can say is, you’ve never read ANYTHING like Vegan Vampire Vaginas before. The plot, the settings, the characters . . . everything. That’s a stone cold promise. I’d make a money back guarantee on it, but my publishers would be VERY annoyed. J.

Peace!

Wol-vriey.


VEGAN VAMPIRE VAGINAS:

 

The biggest bank heist in US history. And Tom Palmer can’t remember pulling it off. And no, this isn’t your standard case of amnesia.

After a one-night-stand gone horribly wrong, Boston salesman Tom Palmer wakes up with a vagina implanted in his left hand.

Then his day gets worse:

Tom is transported across space-time to a nightmare version of Boston, one where the Bizarro virus has transformed half the population into cannibals.

Worst of all, Tom discovers that in this new Boston, he’s the infamous gangster Pussypalm, wanted for robbing the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston a year ago.

He also learns that the vagina in his hand is prophetic, i.e. it talks . . . after sex.

With 130 people left dead during his bank heist and six billion dollars missing, Tom knows he’s living on borrowed time. It is in his best interests not to remember anything. Because once he does . . .

But then everything gets so much odder. Tom begins remembering what has to be someone else’s life. Or is it?

Vegan Vampire Vaginas–a mind-bending trip through Bizarro America!

 

Wol-very

Wol-vriey is Nigerian and quite tall.

He writes surreal transgressive fiction.

He’s the author of Meat Suitcase, Chainsaw Cop Corpse, Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, and Boston Posh.

He blogs at: www.oddityfarm.wordpress.com

You can buy your Vegan Vampire Vagina here:

Amazon Kindle

Amazon Paperback